CRY-ING

Why did god treat me like this?

Why did my beloved one is leaving me~

God took my beloved father,

God took my happiest life~

In year 2010,

Tht's so many unhappy things happen in my life~

Rather die than to ever live in this scary world~

I lost my fon,

My beloved mom bought me this fon,

But i lost it...

Im sorry mom, make u dissapointed~

Reli so stress rite now...

Im gonna bcum crazy if my life keep bcum like this~

My health was getting worst~

My heart beat was din normal ady~

Sumtime i will feel tht is hard for me to breath!

Keep like this,

Reli rather die!

Why wan me to keep like this,

Why dont god just take me away!

So hard for me to live like this~

Its so hard!

Cry everyday,

Is tht the only thing i can do?

I hope i can find out a way to make myself to be happy~

But unfortunately i cant!

And i keep cry n cry!

Ntg else i can do~

Im just wan to be happy,

Was tht hard for god to do it?

Why should i keep suffer like this?!

Why?!

If wan me to keep suffer like this,

I'll die soon~

God took my health,

Took my beloved things,

Took my happiest life!

Why should god do like this to me?

I just wanna a happy life,

Why i cant get it?

Im just wanna a endlessly love,

Why i cant get it?

Im just wan to have a happy family?

But why?!

My father was gone, and i cant get a happy family at all~

Why! Just a simple things only oso cnt?

Sumtime,

I saw one family,

All of them was happy,

Gt father gt mother and the children,

Thy chatting happily~

When i saw it,

Feel jealous, and think bout my father at tht time!

Why i cant have a family like tht?

Why?

Why did my father leave me!

Tht's my life in year 2010!

All frens call me to be strong oways~

But i cnt!

Keep cry for all the time!

I cant at all!

Sumtime im just show u all the fake smile~

Especially to my beloved pom pom boys, and my beloved jimui~

I cant be happy oways!

Sadness,

Its the only 1 who can accompany me for all the time!

Cry cry and cry!

Im sorry guys~

I cant cheer up at all!

Im sorry~

REAL|ZE...

I realize tht,

my beloved ones getting far away from me~

Love,

Frenship,

Family~

All is my beloved ones,

But,

all of thm are getting far far away~

Love-

Is my deicisions,

Coz,

Im nt suitable to be ppl's gf,

And i din suitable to couple~

Lonely is the only thing can accompany for all the time~

Frens-

3 of us ,

We said it b4,

No matter gt wat problem,

we have to tell each other~

3 of us settle it together,

How hard how sad,

3 of us together to manage it~

Who sad who moody,

Im oways by ur's side~

Even wat decision tht we make we have to support each other~

But,

Why nw i can feel tht our frenship getting cold,

Was it im think too much?

I hope so~

I hope tht i thinking too much~

Coz,

I dun wanna knw tht our frenship will getting like this,

We cry together,

We smile together,

We broken hearted together,

But y nw?

Sum of u r getting cold to me~

YOU,

Tell me the words,

Duno why my tears are drop whn i saw tht words,

Was Im the 1 too sensitive?

I duno i cnt find out~

I just hope,

YOU understand wat is the feeling tht i having now?

Im ask u why bcoz Im care u,

I wanna knw wat is ur problem,

Im just wanna face ur problem together,

And i wanna make u happy~

But,

Why u let me see those WORDs~

Its hurting me,

Reli hurting me!

I dun wanna talk bout this,

I just wan tht our frenship will keep better n better~

I dun wanna our frenship bcum like this~

Florence / Jolin / Irene

Were our frenship will getting better once a time?

I hope so~

Family-

Till nw,

Still feel angry bout my uncle~

Coz he's too much~

I knw he love me,

I love he too~

But y?

Y he treat me like his maid?

Im nt his maid!

He talk like this to me,

Its hurt my feeling~

I just hope 1 day,

Our family no more quarrel gain!

My dad-

Suddenly,

I miss my dad so much,

since gred 4 ,

I keep thinking bout my dad,

Miss him sooo~

Everyday ,

I keep pray tht my dad will cum bck talk to me ,

even his soul or his ghost,

eventhough in my dream~

I just wanna talk to he again,

I wanna listen he sing sum song to me gain,

Wanna listen he ply harmonica ,

Wanna chat bout my problem~

I just hope like tht~

Wait such a long time,

But,

my preayed wasn't come true at all~

Mayb im too childlish~

But,

Reli so miss him~

So miss him~

I hope he is beside me whn im sad~

I hope tht he manage the problem wif me together!

But y?!!!
He leave my mom n me such a fast time!

I nvr ready yet~But he's gone!

I miss my dad's voice,

I miss my dad's hands,

I miss my dad's hug~

I miss he sooo~

Miss he till now~

Quite long time~

Miss he~

I miss he~

My mom-

My mom health getting worst!

So worry~

And i duno wat thing tht i can help her~

Im just making so many trouble to her,

Wasting her's money,

Making she feel angry~

Sumtime,

Felt so sry to my mother,

She work so hard to take care of me~

So sry mom~

I shouldn't have to scold u n make u sad~

Im so sorry~

Tht's my life,

Such many problem~

My stress are getting more n more,

Everday in the house,

Im hiding inside the room,

Cry n cry n cry~

Cry is the only thing i can do~

I cnt find out a way wat should I do~

Keep cry!

Maybe sum of u wasn't believe me,

But i din mind~

But tht's the truth~

Tht's my life,

Useless life~

I hate my life~

My life just full of painess, sadness,tired~

Im tired~

God were u enuff to fooling me~

Im tired rite now~

Duno wanna find who to talk n chat~

Duno wanna find who~

I dun wanna find THEM~

She gt her's happiness, i dun wanna she knw my problem ,

otherwise she cry too~

The other she,

she's gt so many stress too, i dun wanna let her knw my stress~

The important thing is,

I dun wan BOTH OF THEM were sad too~

So,

Appologize to THEM tht i din tell my problem ~

Hope u all forgive me~

Last 1,

the 1 who was support me,

THANKS GUYS=]

[ CRY-ING]

MOODY-ING

今天很多不开心事发生==

一天里面发生了很多事！！

而且是，突然的！

今天同样时间去上学，

今天很没心情的去上学，

因为某某事！

过后？

上英文，

Puan Chong找我们，问我们昨天去了哪里？

我们就说练舞，有老师批准的！

过后，Puan Chong没事就教我们应该这样做那样做！

过后，

就到国语节，

无端端老师说，

要扣我们的分，

因为没有老师的批准去练舞，可以叫做[逃课]！

我们很傻眼！

就向老师解释，

老师就死说没她批准就不能去！

因为老师是，Ketua Kokurikulum==

算咯！

就继续上课~

老师就叫我名然后叫我去叫 Shu Ming！

糟糕！一定给老师吊到厉害！

结果？真的给老师吊到很够力！

觉得敏很惨叻！

唉~

过后？

我和佩恩就找老师谈一谈！

这个老师果然是很串！

简直很骄傲！

算！忍！只能忍！

过后，

就跟老师谈一谈！

老师就说跟校长谈一谈><

[下课了]

吃很少东西！

简直没胃口了！

过后？

我们就照样去练舞！

过后？

找些老师，

可是还是拿不到 surat kebenaran>

算！

我们只好逃课练舞！

练到不错！

可是看到老师就要躲！

有一次，

我们全部去我们三姐妹的[老地方]躲！

过后，

我有点不舒服，突然很难呼吸！

佩恩也是心情不是很好了！

过后？

我们3姐妹在厕所谈心事！

3个也哭了！

哭道放学了，

坐下才舍得走！

全部男队员走完！

丢下姐夫一个人==

过后？

又去练咯！

今天练舞，

很不错下！

过后？

我电话响！

看到名字是我[三叔]打来！

最8的那个，也就是我最讨厌的那个！

本来好好谈！

谈谈下，

控制不到我的情绪大骂了一场！

内容我不想说！

我只想说，

请你心情不好时，

不要找我吠！

要我做乖女！

我已经尽力做到我可以做到多少了！

我怎样不用你管！

这是我的生活！

我书读不好，你不能怪我！

我也不想！

我不像你儿子们那么的聪明！

你儿子们也是觉得你太过分了！

我骂回你，是因为我真的收够了！

你打过我，我忍！你骂过我，我也照忍！可是这一次我再也忍不到了！

不要以为我爸爸不在这世界，我和妈妈就好欺负！

特错大错！！！

我们不是一个很好欺负的人！

要欺负我可以！千万不要欺负我妈妈！

我们两母女的生活，要你们来管！？

三叔，

你病了，接受不到事实就不要找我来发泄！

听到你因为病儿发神经发到我身上，

我心有多痛！

对你骂粗口，我多么的逼自己去骂！

我也不想骂你！可是，

我这次很生气了！

我再也原谅不到你！

因为你！

爸和阿嘛的感情变不好了！

因为你！

我天天都会有很大的压力！

因为你！

我和妈妈都忍着你们全家对我们的态度！

因为你！

一切都是因为你！

等我18岁过后，

我妈妈的事一切都交给我！

我再也不会去找你们！

照顾好你身体，

不要随便乱找人来吠！！！！

这就是我的生活，

我根本不能好好过！

很希望有一天，

我能快快乐乐的活着！

现在的生活，

我宁愿死！

无论下地狱还是天堂！

[完]

U'RE TOO MUCH!!!!

I DUN EVEN KNW WHO THE HELL R U?

AND U DIAO ME 99!

U MAKE ME WANNA ON FIRE RITE NOW!

MY LIFESTYLE,

IS THT UR TURN TO JUDGEMENT ME!

I DUN EVEN KNW WHO R U!

AND U KEEP SAYING IM CHILDLISH!

I ADMIT IM CHILDLISH!

BUT,

CAN U DUN SAY IT TOO MUCH!

U SAY SUCH A MANY TIME,

I KEEP ON DIN CARE,

BUT,

U'RE TOO MUCH ADY!

I CANT HANDLE IT ANYMORE!

PLS!

IF U FEEL THT IM DISGUSTING , CHILDLISH OR WAT ELSE,

U MAY GET LOST FROM MY BLOG!

NO ONE CALL U TO VISIT MY BLOG!

THT'S ALL!

NO 1 UNDERSTAND ....

No 1 will understand my feeling rite now,

Till nw tht such a many problem happen in my life,

Suddenly,

Thr was so many problem were happen in my life...

And it was too sudden~

I felt confused n complicated~

I cnt find out a way to manage my problem~

The only thing i can do is keep on crying~

At outside,

All frens maybe can see tht im keep on laughing,

Maybe u all will think tht im ok ,

Actually tht was a mistake,

Whn im bck home,

My tears are drop,

And i kept on crying,

nonestop till i cnt breath normaly...

No one at home,

feel lonely,

Went out to make myself feel comfortable..

Whn mum bck home,

nvr talk...

Quarrel bcoz of 1 thing~

My uncle called me,

n ask sum nonesense thing...

Actually tht time,

I kept thinking of my dad,

If he was here hw relax am i~

But nw,

he's gone,

he leave me to keep stay in this scary world~

I rather to stay wif dad more thn stay in this scary world~

Im nt joking...

Everyday ,

i kept on praying tht my dad will cum bck even in my dream to help find out a way to face my problem~

Till nw,

my heart was full of painess,

Coz till nw ,

Im still feel sorry to he,

SO hate myself,

Wanna kill myself,

Sumtime i scold myself :[ u're idiot, u're stupid n u're jerk!!!]

Why?

Coz im hurted 1 of guys gain~

I din meant it,

I din meant wan to broke up wif he...

But ,

NO choice,

I dun wanna couple gain,

And i wanna focus on study~

Couple?

Still gt so many times for me to find love...

And now,

SINGLE life ,

feel better...

Now,

Im waiting for my uncle's n my mom's decision~

Should I transfer school?

Should I?

ANyone...Who can tell me?

If I transfer,

Will my life happy?

Maybe yes Maybe not...

Stay wif my uncle's family...

Maybe i'll die soon...=]

My health getthing worse now,

Hope i'll die soon, ASAP!

Frenship?

I hope,

Pompom boy,

Jimui Jolin ,Florence~

Pui kye,

And Wong Yun Yao...

I hope our frenship will keep on like now~

Maybe sum of u hate me,

Some of u think im nt a good gal,

Im plygal,

And im childlish or wat else...

I dun mind at all...

Coz,

All of u are my best fren for all the time..

NO matter wat...

Coz,

the truth ,i appreciate our frenship foreva=]

If one day,

We lose contact,

I'll hope u all will forgive me,

Maybe Im gone ...

Maybe,

We cnt meet anymore....

Im sry guys...

But,

I promise tht I will practice to get champion for our cheer competition~

Tht's the only thing i can do to u guys...=]

Lastly,

I wish u all guys happiness..

And be happy oways...

CHANGES....

Y did I write this topic?

Bcoz,

In year 2010 there are so many changes in my life...

My life getting complicated rite now~

And i duno hw am i supposed to manage all the problem~

firstly,

I wanna appologize,

Appoloogize to all of the mistake tht I did~

I can feel tht im nt a good girlfren either good fren~

Im sry guys~

And Im sry yong yao~

I cnt make a endlessly love story wif u~

Coz it was my fault~

Supposed to be,

WE will nt so fast couple,

bcoz of tht day u suddenly holding my hands,

Tht time,

Im thinking it was too fast for me,

And i not ready yet~

But,

tht time I cant find out a thing to decline u~

Im sry~

Maybe it was my fault...

I knw tht I hurted u such many time,

And u cry bcoz of me such a many time,

Ntg else i can do,

The only thing i can do is,

[APPOLOGIZE]~

I hope the thing tht u promise me,

U will did it...

Promise me,

be strong n dun cry~

Just be strong ...

U're a guy,

Maybe u were strong thn me~

And i hope so we still can be a best fren tht no one can bother our frenship~

Plesase,

I reli hope tht~

Secondly,

I wanna appologize to Joyyie,

Maybe my mistake to simply scold u~

And im sry~

Thirdly,

My all best fren including pom pom boy~

Bcoz of me,

All of u have so many trouble,

And u all have to help me settle all the thing~

Actually,

I wanted to settle all the thing myself~

But at the end,

U all help me settle all the thing~

Thanks guy=]

Fourthly,

Florence n Jolin,

Maybe im nt a good sista wif u all,

And my mind was like a kid~

Sorry~

I make so many trouble to u 2 too~

Especially Jolin,

I knw u dun want me to broke up wif he,

Bcoz he was a good guy to me,

But,

I can feel tht im nt suitable for he,

Bcoz im nt a good gf..

Bcoz he is good guy,

i dun wanna to keep hurt he~

Hope u dun mind~

Florence,

Thnx for ur supporting for all the time~

''No matter wat is ur idea, i'll support u for all the time''

This word came out frm ur mouth,

It was touching ,

Thx babeh=]

Jolin n florence u too was my sista forever~

Im change in year 2010,

Sry all guys,

I hope u all will saw my APPOLOGIZE at here,

And maybe i'll call my mom to mange all the ttransfer things,

Maybe i'll stay in my uncle's house~

And transfer my school~

But,

I will continues my cheer competition,

To get champion,

tht the only thing i can do get champion to u all~

Im sry guys~

Whn u all saw this post,

Pls forgive me~

Wish u all happiness=]